(no subject)

I am just so tired.
Maybe I could handle finishing a tv show or painting or translating or making music or a film or getting something out of reading a book, but eating, sleeping and unrest always get in the way.
Remembering, cooking, eating? Who has time and motivation for that? Then there is shopping, morning, evening, random people... And I in my slowness, exhaustion and short memory can't work in any way.
Understimulated and overstimulated at the same time.
And the point is, it's been like that for too long. Years.
I get lost even in trying to be someone, don't even get me started on moving somewhere. The trails of notes just confuse me and overwhelm me even more...
I want silence, a cook and time. If only I could sleep extra and wake up to a proper meal, then sit down and get something done. I feel almost as if this idleness tires me out even more..!
But what do I do? Jus go on. 'Cause that's what I've always done. That's why I'm secretly more than uncelievably worn out.