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I am just so tired.
Maybe I could handle finishing a tv show or painting or translating or making music or a film or getting something out of reading a book, but eating, sleeping and unrest always get in the way.
Remembering, cooking, eating? Who has time and motivation for that? Then there is shopping, morning, evening, random people... And I in my slowness, exhaustion and short memory can't work in any way.
Understimulated and overstimulated at the same time.
And the point is, it's been like that for too long. Years.
I get lost even in trying to be someone, don't even get me started on moving somewhere. The trails of notes just confuse me and overwhelm me even more...
I want silence, a cook and time. If only I could sleep extra and wake up to a proper meal, then sit down and get something done. I feel almost as if this idleness tires me out even more..!
But what do I do? Jus go on. 'Cause that's what I've always done. That's why I'm secretly more than uncelievably worn out.
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peaches, tangerines, chilli shrimp noodle soup, mini Haribo xxx, maple lollipops, popsicles
Kuuga, Aibou, 
Ozaki Yutaka, BUCK-TICK, Plastic Tree

contacts, scooter, a certain uniform, vinyls, Amazons
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I couldn't care less about Arashi (not my kind of music), but thanks to Japan's weird ways of making pop musicians act, I had the opportunity to enjoy them in some a/v works.
And honestly, to an extent the experience really stayed with me; or rather, Ohno is perfect in ..unexpressive roles. Japan's found its typecast. Almost to my surprise, Sakurai's acting is vaguely unforgetable: whether it's a playful student, strict servant or a downright psychological role, he got himself on the list of people I sometimes observe just to imitate for the scary spark. - The big part though, is Matsumoto.
It took me unenthusiastically seeing several of his parts. It took me that long to notice - that he is unexpectedly a damn good actor. Yeah, well, when I finally realised that, my jaw dropped. (I thought I could tell that kind of thing right away; if it's me.)
 
 
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These days I've been wondering, why did I immediately nearly start sobbing at the page of Bakuon!! where it appeared the Katana daddy had died and on behalf of Matsujun's Taiga and didn't even wink at the many folk that died on me in recent past??
And then I realised. Because they had a deep relationship.
There was pretty much nothing going on between me and them, just practical things.
It still doesn't explain though why does it feel like I wouldn't care even if it was some of the closest people to me. I don't know.
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I couldn't care less about Arashi (not my kind of music), but thanks to Japan's weird ways of making pop musicians act, I had the opportunity to enjoy them in some a/v works.
And honestly, to an extent the experience really stayed with me; or rather, Ohno is perfect in ..unexpressive roles. Japan's found its typecast. Almost to my surprise, Sakurai's acting is vaguely unforgetable: whether it's a playful student, strict servant or a downright psychological role, he got himself on the list of people I sometimes observe just to imitate for the scary spark. - The big part though, is Matsumoto.
It took me unenthusiastically seeing several of his parts. It took me that long to notice - that he is unexpectedly a damn good actor. Yeah, well, when I finally realised that, my jaw dropped. (I thought I could tell that kind of thing right away; if it's me.)
 
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I'm always trying to figure out what I like.
But I always fail.
Or maybe, it'd be more fitting to say I never succeed.

Anyway, right now I'll try:
Ozaki Yutaka, Plastic Tree, Placebo, Thee Michelle Gun Elephant, BUCK-TICK, the GazettE
Ozaki Yutaka, Arimura Ryuutarou, Odagiri Joe, Sakurai Atsushi, Miura Ryousuke, Brian Molko, Anna Tsuchiya, Sakurai Sho, Enomoto Kei, Shizukui Kei, Brett!Holmes
Trigun, Boys Next Door, Bakuon!!, Rokudenashi Blues, Gokinjo Monogatari, Hareluya II Boy
Refutations of Time and Space, hakaseheart shorts
Godzilla, pirates, ninja, space adventures and stuffs, retro
oneword, tumblr, Dw, reddit
TBC
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I am no good with fanfic. I live it, but write it?? Strange and mystifying poems or impressionistic drabbles, usually character studies. And even that little that I find myself capable to do is done in such a way that you can't tell the character, fandom, internal events and exchanges unless you're explained to.
Okay, maybe I could live with heralding such style, surprising others, but I really want to write a very normal slash or character study fic.
And I don't get it - I used to be completely able of that, always writing ow/mf through that mundane waste of time called school.
Now it's kind of like I can only channel, not think.
...So in order to try normal fickery, I plan to make Gokaiger my shipping pool. Not very good, but not awful, has pirates and a really good enviroment for own input (even more so if your mind's typically in the gutter, or worse, a girl's). And that's why I should now complete it and then even rewatch it; soon as I end.
After that I'm pretty sure I should be able to write the things I'm already looking forward to: GokaiGalleon x Hakase, Hakase x Gai, Gai x Hakase, Joe x Gai, Joe x Marvelous, Marvelous x Joe, Marvelous Hakase, Zangyack x Joe... e-ehm. Loooads of introspections, blue mood, them just doing stupid things, some stories for the kaijin, peace, OTxness, because Gokaiger is confusing...
Well, here it is, I'm officially not to be spoken of loudly..!
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Well, I thought that'd be a good start.
It's pretty easy, really.

Joe comes from one of my civil names. With the added bonus of being shared with Odagiri Joe and Joe Gibken. Quite close to my heart.
Ryuu is for dragon and again, it wins by the reality of sharing with Ryuutaros, a creepy epitome of coolness, Arimura Ryuutarou, arguably the best vocal and one of the better songwriters I know..! 
And Love... Well, somehow I felt weird when it wasn't there. Heh!

(^_-)-☆ matta ne!

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Joe Ryuu Love

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